Sunday, 24 March 2013

Are there any principles governing our relationships?

I first thought of writing this blogpost , based on "I and Thou" of Martin Buber .But then , I found it too philosophical  and abstract.So , I opted for a simpler course of  writing on the basis of my experience.To those   readers who find this post simplistic, I apologize beforehand .But still , I feel that  what I write below does make sense to me.Whether we like it or not , we are individuals but we need other people.We need a few intimate relationships and we need a number of not-so-deep relationships(what is now  known as social capital).It is too complicated and somewhat mechanical   to enumerate any  principles  underlying these relationships .But I have experienced and observed that   relationships are the most important part of life , and it does us   no harm to reflect on a few  unifying principles .Theses can help us in saving lot of time  and unhappiness.In fact , these principles ,in many ways , define our attitude to the world , life and people.Here are the principles I find worth pondering about .The list is illustrative , and you are welcome to add to it or amend it .
1.Have no possessiveness in any relationship, personal or professional .Dont be jealous.
2.Have no expectation from any one , including friends. Be ready to be  dropped from any relationship .
3.Dont be intrusive in any relationship.
4.Never betray others .Keep their secrets.Never breach their trust.
5.Shed your ego in all relationships .Be humble .Dont be stubborn .
6.Dont criticise.
7.Dont be argumentative .Adopt a caring approach .Be tolerant .
8.Dont be selfish.
9.Dont be prejudiced.
10.Dont be judgemental.
12.Dont spread slander.
13.Dont give unsolicited advice.
14.Love with depth,dignity and desire.Work for elegance in relationships.Remain disciplined in relationships.
15Dont get easily hurt by small things, careless words of others .
 16.Never use words carelessly .
17.Never associate with careless people.
18.In case of doubt , attribute best motive to others.
19.Honour your words.
20.Practise no gender discrimination .Never practise harassment.
21..Say please and thank you .Be courteous.
22.Have an inclusion mindset.
23.Never keep people waiting , if they have fixed an appointment with you .
24.Remain self-effacing and low profile.
25.Practise malice towards none.
26.Give time to people.
27.Help in liberating talent of others.Inspire others.
28.Practise interdependence.
29.Be broadminded.
30.Co-ordinate and orchestrate.
31.Encourage others to be open to you .
32.Dont accept gifts from people  whom you donot know well.
33.Have a confidant.
34.Learn to present your case.
35.Be humorous and light-hearted.
36.Be invested in the growth of the other person to reach their potential.(Courtesy:Romy Mishra)
37.Seek and give the truth-esp. when it's not easy.(Courtesy:Romy Mishra)


  1. Sir,
    We have four R's of life:
    1. Roles
    2. Responsibilities
    3. Resources
    4. Relationships
    You have very beautifully described the principles governing our relationships. Very informative and useful blog as always.

  2. Thank you , Rajesh for your encouragement.
    I have already decided to write about responsibilities -moral and legal- in some future post .Thank you for reminding .
    . .Vidyanand. .