Personality ,what makes you the way you are, by Daniel Nettle

This  book on personality by Daniel Nettle , published by Oxford University Press in 2007 (298 pages)  is one of the oxford Landmark Science books. It cer  helps you to know your self , understand  better those around you and also  tries to answer the question if we can change our personality.

        The book starts with  a request to fill up a brief questionnaire  of 12 questions  to assess yourself on the big five  personality  dimensions..(The  Newcastle Personality assessor).The dimensions are:

1.     Extraversion.

2.     Neuroticism.

3.     Conscientiousness.

4.     Agreeableness.

5.     Openness.

You assess your self , with  your scores in respect of each of the five dimensions. Only by the time you reach near the end of the book , you get to realize the full meaning of these dimensions , and  you begin  to look afresh at your self.

         What is personality?  It is not just what we do repeatedly  in the large-scale narratives of our lives- love , career , friendships- which tend to be somewhat consistent over time , it is also what we do in tiny interactions  which shows the same kind of patterns over our whole life. Naturally , we want to know about our own personality, and also about the personality of other people .

     The big  five  personality dimensions are  extraversion, neuroticism, Conscientiousness, Agreeableness and openness.

1.     Extraversion is responsiveness of positive emotions. In the high scorer , the responsiveness is great , and so the person is prepared   to work hard  to get the buzz of company , excitement , achievement , adulation and romance. For an introvert ,  the psychological benefits of getting these things are fewer.

An introvert  is not motivated  to go out , put in efforts or fight out for them.

     2.Neuroticism:Neuroticism is to negative emotions what extraversion is to positive emotions. Negative emotions  are an interconnected group including fear, anxiety, shame, guilt , disgust , and sadness  that are deeply unpleasant to experience. High scorers on neuroticism  have    more groundless worries  and  more negative emotions. They have low self esteem, higher rates of depression. They are workaholics and  get better academic results. Neuroticism is a (weak) positive predictor of success for professional occupations.

3.Conscientiousness: They are able to control impulses. Very low Conscientiousness means an addictive personality  that can’t stop doing  things  even when they are damaging. The smarter people are , the less conscientious they are. It is not true that conscientiousness brings only benefits. High Conscientiousness  in an extreme form  is called obsessive –compulsive personality disorder.( not related to  obsessive-compulsive disorder).It is preoccupation with orderliness,  perfectionism, and mental control  at the expense of flexibility, openness and efficiency. Sticking to the plan and schedule  becomes the main issue and the actual  point of activity is entirely lost. Inter personal relationships are badly affected by OCPD , as a result. There is no spontaneity. Perfectionism is just very high Conscientiousness.

4. Agreeableness:   High scorers on agreeableness  are cooperative , trusting  and empathetic , while low scorers are  cold-hearted, hostile and non-compliant. Such    high scorer   people have ‘other-regarding preferences’. They are quick to forgive and slow to anger. At the very extreme low-Agreeableness  are psychopaths  who are completely egocentric , remorseless, dishonest, incapable of love , and disposed to  use others entirely to forward their own ends.  When degree of agreeableness is so high that  a person completely sacrifices  his or her own needs, values, options , pleasures and goals in order to serve the desires of others , it is ‘dependent personality disorder’. Research shows that the less Agreeable  the executive, the better they do; or, nice guys finish last. Personal success  tends to mean low Agreeableness. In general , women are higher in Agreeableness  than men are. This implies that the share of women in top positions  will not be 50 percent but less because of Agreeableness factor.

5. Openness: It  means broad associations of meaning, restless unconventionality, supernatural beliefs  and psychosis-like experiences. Openness  predicts creativity and innovative ness.

     Personality traits have  50 percent heritable component. The other half is environmentally induced  personality  variation. Can we change our personalities , or are we just stuck with them? You can choose to avoid certain people  who bring out the worst in you. You can keep yourself away from contexts where aspects of your personality  that you are unhappy with  will surface.  You  all carry useless and outdated notions  of what we should be and why. From time to time ,  you  should shed these notions.  You  should reframe our story. Also , you need to change your behaviour. But it  does not mean that we can change our personality. It means understanding your personality and using this information to make wise choices.

     Personality is a very clear and comprehensive book .It has certainly helped me to know my self and has increased my self awareness. I highly recommend  the readers to read this book .In fact, you should not miss it.

Becoming by Michelle Obama

                                             

An autobiography of Michelle  Obama , published by  Penguin Random House ( 426 pages;2018)  is  the story  of a woman  who rose from very humble beginnings  to become  the first lady of the USA, overcoming  all obstacles of  race , resources and gender.

                   I admire Michelle for each of her four initiatives which she took as the First lady---Let’s Move! , Reach Higher , Let Girls Learn , and  Joining Forces. Let’s Move! Was a public health campaign led by Michelle .Its aim was to reduce  childhood obesity and encourage a healthy lifestyle in children.The Reach Higher Initiative  was her effort as a first Lady to inspire  every student in the US to take charge of  her/his future by completing their education past high school, whether at a professional  training programme , a community college , or a four-year college or university.Let Girls Learn was  launched by Michelle Obama ,as  a  US government initiative  aimed at helping adolescent girls  attain a quality education  that empowers them to reach  their full potential.Joining Forces  was a nationwide initiative  by Michelle Obama  and Dr. Jill Biden  calling all Americans to rally around  service members, veterans , and their families  and support them through wellness, education and employment opportunities.

           Michelle  majored from Princeton in sociology and law  , pulling good grades. Her code in life is  to keep making  efforts     till you   get the  answer to the most important question. “Am I good enough? as “Yes, in fact  I am”.

She met Barack at a law firm Sidley and Austin.  Barack wanted to be effective far more than he wanted to be rich. They fell in love there. From Becoming me , came the stage of Becoming Us. Throughout the book, Michelle is full of praise and pride for Obama.”His money largely went towards books” . He often asked: “ Do we settle for the world  as it is ,  or do we work for the world as it should be?”When she was in Sidley and Austin ,she started keeping a journal. It was a habit she picked in part  from Barack ,  who viewed writing as therapeutic  and clarifying,  and had kept journals on and off over the years.    Barack and Michelle got married in October ,1992.

 Barack joined an organization  called Project VOTE!. “There was power in voting. If you wanted change, you couldn’t stay home on Election Day”. In 1993, he wrote and published  a book  “dreams from My Father”. She joined a new job as the executive director for the new Chicago chapter of an organization  called Public Allies. Its purpose was to help more people find their way into careers in public service and non-profit work.

Barack can flip  between the six and seven  books he’s reading simultaneously. He  would inhale books , newspapers  and ideas.  He had a serious faith in democracy. He wrote his second book “The Audacity of Hope” – thinking through his beliefs and his vision  for the country.He called for hope over cynicism. He spoke with hope. Both served on the boards of several nonprofits. Michelle did not have much taste for politics .She brought up their two daughters, Malia and  Sasha,  to grow strong  and also un-accommodating to any form of old-school patriarchy.

       In all , there were  a total of nine Democrats  for the election to President.  Barack  made his announcement on February 10, 2007.Voting took place on November4, 2008.Barack Hussein  Obama became the  forty-fourth president  of the United States (POTUS) and Michelle became the First Lady of the united States.(FOTUS).

        Michelle  is a great advocate of mentoring.”I knew from my own experience  that when some one  shows genuine interest in   your learning and development , even if only for  ten minutes in a busy day , it matters”. With this in mind , she started a leadership and mentoring program  at the White house  for girls. The students were nominated by their Principals. Each student was paired with a female mentor. Mentors  were  volunteers from the  staff.

      During the regime of Obama, Osama bin Laden was killed by an elite team of US Navy  in Abbottabad, Pakistan. According to Michelle , this was  one of the most important events in  Obama’s  first  tenure as President.

Barack was re-elected as president of the USA  on November6, 2012. “We had managed two terms in office  without a major scandal. We had held ourselves and the  people who worked with us  to the highest standards  of ethics and decency , and we had made it all the way through”.They walked out of the White House  on January , 2017, accompanying  Donald and Melania trump to the inauguration ceremony.

Michelle met Nelson Mandela .”There was no one alive who’d a more meaningful impact  on the world  than Nelson  Mandela  had, at least by my measure”. I liked to mention that I was the great-great –granddaughter of a slave  named Jim Robinson. She sees optimism in surprising places.

   She ends the book with these lines:” There’s power in allowing yourself  to be known and heard, in owning your unique story , in using your authentic voice .And there’s grace in being willing to know  and hear others. This , for me, is how we become.”

     I liked  very much reading this inspiring  book by Michelle Obama. I recommend  everyone to read this book , especially the young girls of India.