Monday, 21 October 2013

All about Self-esteem

Do you care whether you are praised or criticized?Does a compliment make you happy?Does an adverse remark make you  unhappy?Do you have  fame , envy or admiration as your goals?If yes , then you self-esteem is coming from others .And that is dangerous .Why do you give others  power over you and control your mind and state of happiness?Your pursuit of happiness should depend on you alone , and on no one else.Don't place others  before your self.Be great , rather than wanting to be thought great. Donot lead a second hand life.Do not be a second- hander.
          Don't run after popularity . Give honest judgment to a friend , even if it is unpleasant .Demand a certain quality in people you like.Donot believe in fratenities , professional associations , etc.
                     Have a self .Respect your self .If you do not respect your self , you can have neither love , nor respect for others.Be true to yourself .Have robust  independence, an impeccable integrity and an enviable competence .Be fiercely independent.Never sacrifice your integrity  and your independence even for the best causes.Sacrifice of integrity or independence  can never be a virtue.The integrity of  your  creative work is of greater importance than any lofty endeavour.
                       Be competent .Before you can  do things for others , you must know how to get things done .That is competence.To be competent , you need to have love for what you do .Also the way you do your work .Your work done your way .Develop the habit of working meticulously.(Zero errors)..Know every part of your work.Do a thing for your own purpose.
                      Do you like to hold power over another human being?Rulers of men are dependent on their power.Donot decide for others.The man who goes after power is the worst second-hander  of all.
                        Do you share credit with others?More than that , do you share dis-credit with others.?Be clear that all credits and discredits are yours alone .Be the responsible doer.No one can really hurt you or help you .

 If you believe in the above , you will  have  some  wasted periods in your life.But  that is the price you pay.Donot give in when circumstances are adverse. Donot sell the person you love for money  or for popularity.Then I will be proud of you. 


  1. simply wonderful and practical. Have been a students of OB but never understood self esteem and feedback this way before.Thanks a lot for such inspiring blog.

    I wish to draw your attention also to what they say in JOHARI window about blind spot. we all have certain behaviours about which others know but we are not able to see. In that case we need feedback from people. Now how we fifferentiate a negative but honest feedback from a negative person who intends to manipulate our self esteem by praise or crticism? whom should we take feedback from?

  2. A good point .I think , we should endeavour to discover our own blind spots .This can be done by developing our skills of reflection and inquiry .Donot judge your self by the feedback from others ,unless the others are the ones you fully trust, respect .

  3. Awesome!......... a wonderful blog written by you, really very inspiring. Thank you for uploading such a unique blog Sir!!

  4. Thank you .I am happy ,you find it inspiring.

  5. Thanks for the pearls of wisdom.....Respecting self is important for the self esteem....Compliments must not make us overboard....Criticism must not let us down...We should always have courage to accept our mistakes and continue to learn, explore and improve.... Creativity that is inherent in every human being must be explored and nurtured so to make the best use for innovation...If our endeavors could benefit society that should be the best source of solace and happiness for us......

    1. I agree with your comments .Thank you .We need not worry much about our actions benefiting the society because any creative work done with integrity , competence and vision is bound to result in benefits to us as well as to the society.

  6. Respected Sir
    I do not know whether a compliment makes me happy or not. But an adverse remark definitely makes me unhappy. It means others are controlling my mind and state of happiness.
    After reading this inspiring article, I will try my best to change my thinking. I will try my best to take adverse remarks as opportunity for improvement. I will focus on self improvement. If I am on the right path I will take adverse remark as disguised compliment. I know it is easier said than done. But I will keep reminding myself that I have to keep trying come what may.
    Thank you very much sir.

  7. Actually , the real point is not whether remarks are adverse or compliments .In either case , these should not affect your self-esteem.

  8. This is really a wonderful blog, before reading this blog never understood Self-Esteem and feedback this way. Rajesh ji is very fair hearted, accepted his weakness I am impressed and I would like to appreciate the reply of V.N.Sir too that the real point is not whether remarks are adverse or compliments, in either case, these should not affect your self-esteem.

    I am really thankful to you Sir for your proper guidelines towards Self-esteem:)

  9. simply energizing......
    my take from this is : BE THE RESPONSIBLE DOER.......

  10. Thank you .I am happy to note that you find it energizing .